so when i started this "blog" it was just for traveling, because i dont consider my life here at CBU very interesting or worth writing about. I am about to travel somewhere again so i guess that makes it ok to write about it right? well i have to say i havent been my usual positive self relating to this upcoming trip. i mean i should be right im going to see my boyfriend and i am going someplace i have been before. so why shouldnt i be freaking bouncing off the walls? well this week i wasnt. i was rolling around in my bed feeling extreme anxiety that i have never in my life experienced. i was anxious because when i landed in spain the first time i had the most horrible first week of anything i have ever in my young life had the privilege to experience. and i was literally having flashbacks to that trip and every bone in my body didnt want to go. i actually spent two days crying about not going. then finally my dad, mom, and boyfriend all cornered me (not at the same time) and asked me what was going on. so i then had a small breakdown and explained what i thought what was going on. i soon found out that its ok and many people have had that before. i also found out that if your not nervous or excited about the future then you arent really living life to the fullest. i disagree slightly because if you felt what i felt then you would not agree with that previous statement. then i considered the latter. if i was completely apathetic about the trip then why would i be going? i have to be excited because if not im not really even interested in going. but i am excited, nervous, and anxious. i dont like traveling alone, and i dont like sitting on a plane for 7 hours, i hate airports, i dont like the food on airplanes, nor do i like airline employees. they are always telling you "sit down, get out of the way, move your feet, move your bag" well LEAVE me be.
i seemed to recover because today im feeling only excitement to be taking off, but im still a little anxious.